Remembering Piper Kay Brawner

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day, I asked my friend Julie Brawner to do a guest post. I met Julie at Deer Creek Camp in 2005. I was a camp counselor and she was the counselor girls leader. I'm not sure if Julie knows how big of an impact she has made in my life! She is such a strong woman of God. She's pretty great to hang out with too! I still ask her for advice and she's always there if I just need someone to talk to. She has willing shared her story and I am honored that she was willing to be a guest writer on my blog. Thank you Julie and love you!

She has also written a book about their journey. It is definitely a must read! The trailer is at the bottom. Check it out!


Hello.  My name is Julie Brawner.  And I have experienced loss.

So often I feel like I should be sitting around a circle and when it's my turn, take that turn and become a part of the group of us.  The AL's.  Those who are Anonymous Loss's. 

My husband and I met in college at Texas A&M University, whoop! We both loved Jesus very much and devoted our lives to honoring Him.  We told Him that when He said go? We would go. When He said wait? We would wait.  When He said "Step out on the water..." and other's said it can't be done, we'd lift our eyes to Him and we would come.

Little did we know our life would be a journey that asked us to give up life.  

Our precious firstborn, Adia Michele, came in 2009.  We were pregnant with our second baby girl in 2011.  We were so excited, had her room all set up and her name sign over her crib.  Piper Kay was about to be born and come home!  My husband was out on scouting (he's a coach) and I went with a friend to my very last doctors appointment...the one where they tell you, "You're dilated to a 5! Let's go!" or "Let's induce!"  Excitingly, I went to the appointment.  As they searched for the heartbeat with that silly little machine, they asked for another because the battery seemed to not be working.  The second one still didn't work so, they decided to send me quickly to do an ultrasound.  I knew...just KNEW...she was ready to come! They'd put me in the hospital to be induced!!!

Yes.  They would.  "You've lost your baby." 

What? What? No. This doesn't happen.  There is NO way.  She is FULL TERM.  This DOES NOT happen. She is alive.  I was here less than a week ago and her heart was beating fine! NO! NO! NOOOO!

In a daze and full of tears and sorrow, I left to call my husband.  "We've lost Piper."

His reaction being the same and on the phone both of us not understanding, "Is this real? What do you mean? She's gone?!?!"  "Yes, she's gone.  She's gone.  She's gone."  

The next morning we went into the hospital to be induced.  By 11 a.m., we were holding a precious, beautiful baby girl named Piper Kay, 6 lbs 12 oz with the most precious fingers and toes, the most beautiful mouth, and a perfectly formed body.  As we held her and loved her and hugged her and sang to her, we knew we had entered a new part of life.  A life of loss.

Piper Kay was born on July 27th, 2011.  We have still not recovered.  We never will recover. We will always be broken and have a scar from this cut that is so deep.  But God walked day by day with us through those hardest of times.  He sat with us, He held us, He loved us, and He carried us.   

Other people played a huge roll in our existence in those hard times.  There are days where we did not know if we could get out of bed to take a step, to breathe a breath, to blink an eye.  For our first born, Adia, we knew we had to.  But without the gracious prayers and the constant love poured out on us by friends and family, we would not have made it.

HOW can you help those who have lost? Don't shy away. Love them by asking the hardest most uncomfortable questions. Try to remember the day of the month they lost and send a text or email or note on that day, every month, and then every year...acknowledging that you haven't forgotten and you remember with them. Don't tell them you understand or that everything will be okay.  Rather admit you don't have the words, cry with them, tell them loss sucks, and tell them you're sorry.  Loss is loss.  It SUCKS.  It always will.  I had a friend who set an alarm every night at the same time and would send me a Bible verse every night for the entire first year after we lost Piper.  We had people from all over the community bring food and help out with meals, which helped tremendously due to the haze we lived in for a while. We had people send checks which helped cover the cost of funeral expenses and such. And then, the brave souls who ventured to sit and visit with us and hug us face to face.  It must have been the hardest thing for them to drive, knock on the door, and enter into our home. But they did. And their bravery meant the world.  We even had friends purchase a tree to be planted in a local park in honor of Piper, a park we took Adia to all the time to swing and laugh and tree-hug.

So often after a loss, people tend to stay away.  It makes us who have lost feel like we have the plague, alienated by the world.  I never blamed those around me for that.  I knew it hurt too bad and that people didn't know what to say.  But it is so comforting when people make the step out of their comfort zone to extend love in time of need.  No matter if you've lost a child through a miscarriage, a stillborn, an abortion, a death after birth...whether you've lost a friend, a sibling, a mother, a father, a grandparent.  Loss is loss.  It cuts deep and wounds forever. There remains a scar until we one day enter those pearly gates and walk those streets of gold in our new bodies. 

For those of us who HAVE lost? Challenge yourself to open that chapter of your life and allow others in.  Tell them your story, share with them your hurt, and cast your burdens out there.  Our Father has given us a family in Him that is not earthly, but Heavenly.  The believers that surround you are there to share your burdens, to cry with you, to laugh with you, and to remember with you.  Let them.  Open up and let them in. If you have kept your hurt in all these years, it is a festering wound that can not heal into a scar.  It will never fully heal--ever.  You will always be marked with loss.  The scar of loss remains, but if you have not allowed others in to remember that life with you? Now is the time. Today is the day.

If you have never lost, remember that every day, people are walking by you with a smile and when you ask them how they're doing, they say, "Fine!"  Little do you know that in the depths of so many people's souls, there is an aching loss that is invisible to the common eye.  We try to hide it and pretend like everything is okay. We try to be like those we see, those who don't walk around with the ringing of loss in their ears or the instantaneous flood of tears that hits when small remembrances pass by.  We try to blend in and be normal, but we can't...because this is our new norm.

But wait.  Wait.  As I peer closer into your eyes, you who seem so normal...sweet friend? I have not taken the time to ask you, but I see it on your face--do you have a scar too?

Hello.  My name is Julie Brawner.  And I have experienced loss.  Want to share scars?

________________________________________________________________________

Watch the trailer for When God Called Piper Home, by Julie Brawner at http://youtu.be/wNx4BpZpC8Q

 Adia treasuring her sister's features

Daddy's girl

Don't Feel Guilty

As Mommy's, we are our own worst critics! There are many reasons we feel guilty. However, for most of them we shouldn't. We should give ourselves a little slack sometimes!

 

Don't Feel Guilty For:

1) Waking up with a child in the middle of the night and just wishing they would go back to sleep.

I see Mommy's say all the time, "My baby woke up at 1 am for a few hours and I just treasured my time with them. Who cares about sleep?" Well, I do! I need my sleep. Not to say there have not been times I have enjoyed rocking my son and watching him sleep in the middle of the night praying over his sweet little soul. Watching your child sleep is SO sweet. But then there are times I feel like a zombie and can barely walk to his room. It is okay if you are tired and just want sleep too!

 

2) Feeding your baby formula.

This is a choice you have to make. Research shows that breast milk is better for your children. However, research also shows that the formula on the market these days is very good as well! Don't let anyone throw you into a guilt trip for this because you can't or don't want to breast feed. I know very healthy, happy formula-fed babies! This is a choice that is totally fine!

 

 

 

3) Letting your kids watch TV.

I do think that your child's TV needs to be limited, but allowing them to watch a little TV is harmless.  Make sure you monitor what they are watching and also encourage exercise and activities. If it is nice outside, go on walks or play in the back yard. If it isn't, encourage activities inside that do not deal with the TV. Make watching TV a privilege and only for certain times.

 

4) Feeding them junk food and not all "organic".
Let's face it, Mac and Cheese taste way better than broccoli! I don't think you should feed your child junk food all the time but it's okay sometimes. As long as they usually get in their fruits, veggies, proteins, dairies, etc., a little junk won't hurt them and will give you a little break. Good alternatives too are buying Whole Grain Mac and Cheese and all Beef/Turkey hot dogs, etc. I know I don't completely rob myself of junk. I eat healthy a majority of the time and sometimes let myself have that sweet or those chips. It is ok for your child too! It is also okay to give yourself a break from stressing out about meal time. Just grab the easy mac and relax!

 

5) Letting other people watch your children.
This can go several different ways. This can be daily for child care. I wrote a blog on What Not to Say to Working Mommies and I address this on number 7. It can also apply to simple things like running an errand or a date night or getting a pedicure. It is okay to do those things! You are not a machine, you are a human. You need breaks as well and to take care of yourself. You and your child will be much happier if you feel taken care of and not spread so thin. I believe the saying is true, "Happy Mama, Happy Life."

 

6) Not being to afford "extras".
It is okay if you cannot give your child tons of "extras" (toys, clothes, activities, etc.). You have to do what is financially stable for your family. Do not compare your life and your family circumstances to someone else's. I guarantee, your child will be happy without that extra coloring book or Mickey toy. They will soon forget. Your child will be happy with a stress free Mama who isn't worried about money. Accept your circumstances and what you can do and just enjoy your little one and your life with them. Sometimes the best things in life are not actual things. Rather they are the smiles, laughs, and moments of pure bliss with your loved ones that could never be replaced by things.

 

 

7) Buying something for ourselves instead of our child.

It is okay to buy that adorable dress for yourself instead of that toy for your little one! You deserve it! You work so hard for your child and it is okay to pamper yourself a little and not to forget about yourself! So go, buy that dress! :) I love this maxi from Target!

 

 

8) Getting frustrated with your child.

It is totally to get frustrated, sad, mad, upset with your child. You are not a robot. You are a human and have feelings girlfriend! It is the way you handle these situations that count. If you are feeling these things, it may be best to remove yourself from the situation if possible, cool down a little so you don't blow a fuse, and then reassess the situation. These feelings are natural! Just make sure you are handling it in an appropriate manner.

 

 

 

9) Enjoying being at work.

It is okay to drop your child off at daycare and be excited to head into your work field! I hope if you have to or choose to work that this is the case. Being happy at the place you spend everyday is very important. It doesn't mean you love your child less, it just means you are able to thrive and enjoy the situations you are put in. That is a great quality!

 

10) Not parenting like other parents.

It can be easy to look at other parents and see how they parent and feel guilty for not doing that with your child. I mean their child was potty trained and in a toddler bed before 2! Yours is in a crib and diapers at 2 1/2. Every child is different, every parent is different, and every family and situation is different. Yours is totally acceptable for you as other families is acceptable for them. Don't compare yourself. You are doing a great job mama just the way you are!

 

 

Don't feel guilty mama! Give yourself some slack. You are not perfect nor does anyone expect you to be!

 

 

(Pictures from google.com)

 

 

Until next time,

 



From Milk to Solids

Transitioning from milk to solids is a fun, exciting, rough, experimental time! Here's a few tips to help the transition.

 

 

1. Doctors recommend you start at 6 months of age, but you can really start anywhere from 4-6 months.

 

2. Ask some questions if you are questioning if they are ready.

A. Can your baby hold his or her head in a steady, upright position?

B. Can your baby sit with support?

C. Is your baby mouthing his/her hands or toys?

D. Is your baby showing interest in what you are eating?

If yes, they are probably ready!

 

 

2. Start with rice cereal. Make a small amount and make it watery. It may seem gross but remember, this is the first time your child has had anything with any consistency but watery.

 

 

3. Take it slow. Try it once a day at first. Do this for a few days and increase it if they like it and are used to it. Continue your breast milk/formula as well.

 

 

4. Resist giving it to them in a bottle. Really try feeding them with a spoon to help them learn the practice of taking bites and swallowing.

 

5. Feed them very small spoonfuls. They need to get used to new textures and swallowing these new textures. As your baby gets used to it, you can make it thicker and offer more.


6. Start to introduce pureed foods (meats, veggies, fruits, etc.) as they master the cereal. I always bought this in Gerber. I did want to make Brody's food, but just did not have the time to do this as a working mom. Just always check the ingredients and make sure what it says it is is the first ingredient, no sugar, and no salt. The fewer the ingredients the better. Gerber is a great option if you can't or don't want to make your babies food.

 

7. About 8-10 months, you can offer very small pieces of "real" chopped up food. Make sure the food is small and easy to chew and swallow. Again, this is a new texture so it may take them some time to get used to it.

 

 

8. Aviod power struggles. If it just isn't working during a meal time, try again later. They will get it!

 

 

 

Hope your transition is easy! Happy eating!

 

 

 

Until next time, 

 

 

 

Bumbo Recall

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may or may not have heard by now that Bumbo is doing a voluntary recall of their product. As a mother and owner of a Bumbo, this did concern me a little bit. I decided to research it a little and see what was going on.

 

Reasons for Recall

 

1. There is no safety belt on the previous Bumbo's. Children have been able to wiggle free out of the seat. Because of this, it has caused some injuries to children. The new Bumbo's will have this.

 

2. They are putting a new safety warning sticker on the Bumbo. This sticker is going to say that children should be supervised by parents at all times and that the Bumbo should not be off of the floor. There have been reports of children that were in their bumbo on a raised surface and somehow tipped the Bumbo over and fell. There have also been reports of skull fractures.

 

Are These Safe for My Child?

In all honesty, I believe yes they are. In my opinion, it is common sense to not leave your young child unsupervised on a counter top in a seat. I do understand some of these may have happened while being supervised and it was an accident that just happened. However, almost anything out there for babies to play on, sit in, etc. can be dangerous if not used properly. The same goes with this.  Here are a few tips I have to ensure your child is safe in these.

 

 1. Be present with your child. Never be more than about 1/2 an arms length away.  Don't get busy doing something else and forget your child is in the seat. Children who use these likely cannot sit stably and will wiggle therefore, it creates a possibility of wiggling off a raised surface or toppling over and getting hurt.

 

2. Use only on the ground.These seats are not made to be used on raised surfaces. A knife is used to cut not eat your soup. The same goes with this. Read the labels and use properly.  

 

3. Use the restraint belt. The Bumbo website suggest that you always use this belt now.

 

 

What if I had a Bumbo before they recalled it?
 

1. Request a Repair Kit. You can go here and request a repair kit. The kit includes a new warning sticker and belt. They say it is very easy to install.

 

2. Returns: You cannot return this product as part of this recall.

 

3. Email: Email recall@bumbousa.com  for any questions for concerns you have. You can also call (866) 898-4999.

 

Use common sense and extra precaution when caring for your child and using products! Nothing is safe when used improperly.

 

Information is available on the Bumbo Recall information page. 

 

 

 Until Next time,

 

 



From Nursing to Bottles

Transitioning a baby from nursing to bottles can be a tough task! While some babies transition beautifully, others do not. Many do it because they do not want to nurse anymore, cannot nurse anymore, or have to go back to work. Here are a few tips to try and help the transition easier!

 

Tip #1: Start trying to use bottles somewhere between 2-6 weeks of age. This could just be one bottle a day. This will hopefully prevent the baby from getting so used to nursing and so good at it that they hate bottles and refused to use them. You can still pump and put your breastmilk in the bottle, in fact this is recommended. Even put some in the very bottom of the nipple so they taste it as soon as they suck.
 

Tip #2: Take it slow. Don't only nurse one day and then try all bottles the next. This is a transition and your baby needs to be able to adapt. Slowly introduce more and more bottles over time.

 

Tip #3: Have daddy or someone else give them the bottles (until they are used to it). If the baby sees or smells mommy (Yes, they know your smell!) they may refuse to take the bottle knowing you are near! Try to be out of the room when this happens!

 

Tip #4: Stick with it! Your baby may really have a hard time transitioning to a bottle. Don't give up! I know it is hard on you both, but they will get it!
 

Tip #5: Try different bottles/nipples. I did a review on bottles here. Check it out. We used Playtex VentAire and loved them! However, your baby may not. You may have to try several bottles before they find one that makes them happy and most "resembles" you. Also, make sure the nipple is the right size and flow (it should be slow.)


Tip #6: Try different temperatures of the milk. You obviously want it warm and not hot, but you can try different temperatures of warmth. If you are really need to, pump your milk and measure the temperature right away and try to get it as close to that as possible.

Tip #7: Try holding your baby in different positions when getting the bottle. It may not be the bottle itself. It is possible when they drink from a bottle they get more gas or have a hard time eating in that position. Some examples you can look up would be the following: Cradle hold, Cross-over hold, Football hold, and Reclining Position. These are especially good for nursing but can be used with bottles. Also, you may need to sit them up a lot to feed the bottle to help reduce gas and improve digestion.



That is it for now! Good luck!
Email me with any questions you would like me to address!!

Until next time,





10 Things Not to Say to a Working Mommmy

Since I did a post on what not to say to a Stay At Home Mommy, I figured I would flip the table and do one for the working mommy. Obviously, I have a little more experience with this one since I am a working mommy. However, I still got input from other working mommies and did a little research as well! Enjoy!

 

1) You should be a stay at home mommy. This is time you will never get back.

Chances are, she knows this. All this statement really does is put a guilt trip on the mommy. She knows that it is precious time and that her kids are only small once. However, she knows that bills don't pay themselves so she really has no choice. She buckles up everyday and says goodbye to her little one because she has to, not necessarily because she wants to. When her child runs into her arms when she sees them after work, it makes everything worthwhile. You can never take away those precious moments! And P.S., aren't all years of your child's life precious?

 

2) Don't assume every working mom wants to be a stay at home mommy.

There are many women out there who pride themselves in their job. They enjoy working. They enjoy what they do and they think their job is valuable. That is totally okay! I know a mom who works because it makes her miss her kids more during the day and enjoy time together at night more. I know another who works because she values her education and wants to teach her kids that she is not confined to the home. Not all working moms desire to stay home. It is all personal preference! It doesn't make them any less of a mom!

 
3) If you really wanted to stay home you would find a way to make it work.
This is not necessarily the case and it is wrong of you to assume the financial situation of her and her family. Just because you may think they have enough to "make it work" doesn't mean that they do. Any mommy who wants to stay home has probably tried all the logistics to make it work. Sometimes, they just can't. Don't assume that if they don't "make it work" that they didn't try hard enough or give "enough up". Also understand they may also be helping with saving for a college fund for their child or other things that they think are valuable things to have.

 
4) Stay at home mom's are more dedicated to their children.
This is completely false. Working moms are very dedicated to their children. They are dedicated to providing needs for their children. They sacrifice their wants and desires to stay home so their children have what they need. Both mommies provide, just in different ways!

5) I don't know how you work. I couldn't be away from my kids that much.
"It is very easy to say goodbye to my child as they reach for me every morning saying 'Mommy'", said no mother ever. Saying this is basically saying to her she is insensitive and doesn't miss her kids and wants to be away from them. Just because she works doesn't mean it is easy to be away from her kids all day. Every morning it is hard to say goodbye to her children. Every. Morning. But she does it because she has to, not because it is easy. She learns how to deal with it. It makes her a strong woman doing something that is so hard for her to do daily to help her children.

6) Don't you worry you will miss out on things if you don't stay home?
No, I don't want to see my child roll over for the first time or take their first step. I don't want to see them play with toys and hear their sweet giggle or watch them sleep during nap time.
Yes!!! Of course the mommy probably worries she will miss these things but you asking this question doesn't really help that worry for the mom. However, she probably really cherishes her time when she is with her children since she doesn't see them throughout the day. When you are away from your child in the day, it makes you miss them. It makes it that much sweeter when you get to get home after you have missed them all day. This is just something she can't dwell on or it will drive her crazy. You should not either. She knows that she will just have to soak up her time with her little one when she can and leaves it at that!

7) I couldn't let other people raise my child.
First of all, a day care/pre-school is not raising their child. The day care providers do not make decisions for the children - the parents do. The day care providers are not home with the child when they are sick, the parents are. The parents provide guidance, are at all the extra things they do, provide needs for the child, disciplines the child, gets up with them at 2 am in the night and at 5:30 am on the weekends. The parents instill the values in the child and raise the child. Although the family is thankful for help from those around them and the day-care/pre-school is a great asset to the child, the parents ultimately are raising their child.

8) I bet your child misses you during the day OR I would miss my child too much.
Yes, I bet they do. And yes, mommy misses them like crazy! But you buckle down and do it because you have to. Not because you don't miss them or they don't miss you. It is just life and life isn't always easy. Both mommy and child make it through the day and both are okay!

9)I would give anything to be able to be away from my kids during the days.
If so, let's turn in your resume somewhere! Just like a SAHM mommy is more work and can be way more tiring than you know, so can a working mom. Try working at a job all day, coming home, spending time with kids, cooking dinner and cleaning it up, getting kids ready for bed, packing lunches, taking kids to events, grocery shopping, taking care of bills, and any other household chores that need to be done, all within a 3-5 hour period. It is tiring and not an easy thing to do!

10) There are not enough parents raising their children at home.
I agree! Unless you want to pay bills for people, fight for paid parental leave, or flexible work schedules, you cannot really point this out. I am sure some dad's would enjoy more time at home with kids too. With the financial strain so many families face already, is it really wise to have more parents at home just to have them at home? I disagree that it is better to do that and cause financial strain on families. Families look at what needs they have and what they can do and if the mommy has to work then that should be accepted and not questioned. There is very good, quality child care available for children and is the only option for some people unless they put themselves in finanical ruin, which in my opinion is not smart.

Ultimately, just be sensitive to the mom and try to put yourself in her shoes and what it would be like in their position. Like I said in 10 Things Not to Say to a Stay At Home Mommy, you may have a close relationship where you can talk about this openly with a mommy, but be careful not to place guilt on the mommy. Also, try to understand their situation and why they do what they do. Be sensitive of other people and their feelings.

God has a plan for everyone. Whether that be a working mommy or a stay at home mommy. Where ever He has placed you, do your best to accept it! He has you there for a reason. If He changes your position, try to accept it and understand His will is perfect. He will always provide! On my personal blog, you can see how He provided perfectly for our family! He will for you too! Just trust.

 

Until next time, 

 



10 Things Not to Say to a Stay At Home Mom

As most of you know, I am not a Stay At Home Mom. I know, so how in the world am I going to write this if I am not even a SAHM, right? Well, this post is not from personal experience, but from what my friends have told me and some research I have done. I realize that not all SAHM's will feel exactly the same about this post, but I have used how the majority felt to create this.

 

 

1) Does your husband really make enough for you to stay home?

Honestly, this is not your place to ask and should not concern you. It is her and her husband's choice. Let them make it and be supportive of their decision.

 

2) You are JUST a stay at home mom, you don't have a job.

From SAHM's I have talked to, this is very offensive. I can definitely see why. A SAHM is a full-time job. It is full of house cleaning, laundry, playtime, feedings, changing diapers, play dates, library time, errand running, snot wiping, throw-up cleaning, tantrum bearing, activity planning, and much, much more. I am a teacher, so I am home for 3 months in the summer and I can testify that it isn't just sitting watching movies all day.

 

3) Since you are a SAHM, it must be nice to take naps whenever you want.

It would be nice. However, those dishes don't clean themselves, laundry doesn't do itself, and dinner sure doesn't cook itself. Many SAHM's are doing the necessities of the home while their child naps so they can be on child duty again once their child wakes from their nap.

 

4) It must be nice to not have to work everyday.

Have you ever tried to keep a 6 month old from waking up while your 2 year old is screaming? For hours on end? It is a full time job. You can't let a 2 year old and a baby do as they please as you curl up with a book in bed.  Well, unless you are ready to call the fire department when your 2 year old swallows the bathroom cleaner they found while you were reading and if you can drown out the deafening scream of a baby when they are hungry. It is a full-time job and can be frustrating, tiring, and just plain overwhelming just like any other job.  

 

5) Your husband must make really good money. I could never afford to stay home.

Don't assume this is something they can "afford" or the amount of money her husband makes.  They have found a way to make it work for their family. You don't see the sacrifices their family makes on a daily basis. It is unfair for you to assume this.

 

6 )Do you feel like your degree was a waste of time and money?

Just because they are a SAHM now doesn't mean they won't ever go back to work. However, if they never did, that is their decision. And that is totally okay! Many professionals are not working in their specific "degree" area. Many SAHM also may have not known they wanted to stay home when they got their degree. It may have been a desire after their child was born. That is okay too! Their profession may not be their "degree", but it is still a very important one!

 

7) I could never stay home. I couldn't be without adults all day.

This is like telling the mom that she doesn't long for adult interaction. That may not be true at all. In fact, it most likely isn't true. You also don't know that she doesn't have play dates planned. Even if she doesn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't long for it. She probably takes the situation at hand day by day and just deals with what she has to.  

 

8) What do you do with all your free time?

Oh, SAHM's sit around eating candy and drinking soda while watching Lifetime movies or take long, relaxing bubble baths. Meanwhile, they let their kids run amuck while doing this. I mean, come on. Seriously, children cannot take care of themselves. If you have children, you know it can be hard to find time to go to the bathroom by yourself, let alone have free time.

 

9) It must be really nice to stay home. I really want to, but we just can't financially.

At times, this can make the SAHM mom feel bad that she is able to stay home and you cannot. You do not want to put this strain on your friendship. Your finances are totally different than theirs. Try to be supportive of her opportunity to stay home even if you cannot. You don't want to throw guilt their way for you not being able to stay home. That is not their problem. It is something you have to work out with YOUR family. That is not pleasant to be around. Try to think positive.

 

10) Ultimately, don't get too nosey.

This is a family decision. Unless you are in the family, or they ask, it ultimately has nothing to do with you. Sorry to be so blunt, but it is true. Let their family make the best decision for them and you make the best for yours. If you are close friends with the person, there will probably be times you can ask questions about staying home, but do remember to be respectful of their personal decision. Be careful not to assume and to respect them as you would want to be respected of your decision.

Some of these may be hard to do! :) Especially if you want to stay home but cannot. From personal experience, I try to think positive and look at my situation totally separate and realize it is best for my family. Not that I don't get down sometimes, but throwing a pity party doesn't change things. Just enjoy your sweet blessing from God when you are able to be home with them in the evenings and realize He has a plan for you!! Trust Him and try to make the best of the situation!
 

 

Until next time,