As Mommy's, we are our own worst critics! There are many reasons we feel guilty. However, for most of them we shouldn't. We should give ourselves a little slack sometimes!
Don't Feel Guilty For:
1) Waking up with a child in the middle of the night and just wishing they would go back to sleep.
I see Mommy's say all the time, "My baby woke up at 1 am for a few hours and I just treasured my time with them. Who cares about sleep?" Well, I do! I need my sleep. Not to say there have not been times I have enjoyed rocking my son and watching him sleep in the middle of the night praying over his sweet little soul. Watching your child sleep is SO sweet. But then there are times I feel like a zombie and can barely walk to his room. It is okay if you are tired and just want sleep too!
2) Feeding your baby formula.
This is a choice you have to make. Research shows that breast milk is better for your children. However, research also shows that the formula on the market these days is very good as well! Don't let anyone throw you into a guilt trip for this because you can't or don't want to breast feed. I know very healthy, happy formula-fed babies! This is a choice that is totally fine!
3) Letting your kids watch TV.
I do think that your child's TV needs to be limited, but allowing them to watch a little TV is harmless. Make sure you monitor what they are watching and also encourage exercise and activities. If it is nice outside, go on walks or play in the back yard. If it isn't, encourage activities inside that do not deal with the TV. Make watching TV a privilege and only for certain times.
4) Feeding them junk food and not all "organic".
Let's face it, Mac and Cheese taste way better than broccoli! I don't think you should feed your child junk food all the time but it's okay sometimes. As long as they usually get in their fruits, veggies, proteins, dairies, etc., a little junk won't hurt them and will give you a little break. Good alternatives too are buying Whole Grain Mac and Cheese and all Beef/Turkey hot dogs, etc. I know I don't completely rob myself of junk. I eat healthy a majority of the time and sometimes let myself have that sweet or those chips. It is ok for your child too! It is also okay to give yourself a break from stressing out about meal time. Just grab the easy mac and relax!
Let's face it, Mac and Cheese taste way better than broccoli! I don't think you should feed your child junk food all the time but it's okay sometimes. As long as they usually get in their fruits, veggies, proteins, dairies, etc., a little junk won't hurt them and will give you a little break. Good alternatives too are buying Whole Grain Mac and Cheese and all Beef/Turkey hot dogs, etc. I know I don't completely rob myself of junk. I eat healthy a majority of the time and sometimes let myself have that sweet or those chips. It is ok for your child too! It is also okay to give yourself a break from stressing out about meal time. Just grab the easy mac and relax!
5) Letting other people watch your children.
This can go several different ways. This can be daily for child care. I wrote a blog on What Not to Say to Working Mommies and I address this on number 7. It can also apply to simple things like running an errand or a date night or getting a pedicure. It is okay to do those things! You are not a machine, you are a human. You need breaks as well and to take care of yourself. You and your child will be much happier if you feel taken care of and not spread so thin. I believe the saying is true, "Happy Mama, Happy Life."
6) Not being to afford "extras".
It is okay if you cannot give your child tons of "extras" (toys, clothes, activities, etc.). You have to do what is financially stable for your family. Do not compare your life and your family circumstances to someone else's. I guarantee, your child will be happy without that extra coloring book or Mickey toy. They will soon forget. Your child will be happy with a stress free Mama who isn't worried about money. Accept your circumstances and what you can do and just enjoy your little one and your life with them. Sometimes the best things in life are not actual things. Rather they are the smiles, laughs, and moments of pure bliss with your loved ones that could never be replaced by things.
This can go several different ways. This can be daily for child care. I wrote a blog on What Not to Say to Working Mommies and I address this on number 7. It can also apply to simple things like running an errand or a date night or getting a pedicure. It is okay to do those things! You are not a machine, you are a human. You need breaks as well and to take care of yourself. You and your child will be much happier if you feel taken care of and not spread so thin. I believe the saying is true, "Happy Mama, Happy Life."
6) Not being to afford "extras".
It is okay if you cannot give your child tons of "extras" (toys, clothes, activities, etc.). You have to do what is financially stable for your family. Do not compare your life and your family circumstances to someone else's. I guarantee, your child will be happy without that extra coloring book or Mickey toy. They will soon forget. Your child will be happy with a stress free Mama who isn't worried about money. Accept your circumstances and what you can do and just enjoy your little one and your life with them. Sometimes the best things in life are not actual things. Rather they are the smiles, laughs, and moments of pure bliss with your loved ones that could never be replaced by things.
7) Buying something for ourselves instead of our child.
It is okay to buy that adorable dress for yourself instead of that toy for your little one! You deserve it! You work so hard for your child and it is okay to pamper yourself a little and not to forget about yourself! So go, buy that dress! :) I love this maxi from Target!
8) Getting frustrated with your child.
It is totally to get frustrated, sad, mad, upset with your child. You are not a robot. You are a human and have feelings girlfriend! It is the way you handle these situations that count. If you are feeling these things, it may be best to remove yourself from the situation if possible, cool down a little so you don't blow a fuse, and then reassess the situation. These feelings are natural! Just make sure you are handling it in an appropriate manner.
9) Enjoying being at work.
It is okay to drop your child off at daycare and be excited to head into your work field! I hope if you have to or choose to work that this is the case. Being happy at the place you spend everyday is very important. It doesn't mean you love your child less, it just means you are able to thrive and enjoy the situations you are put in. That is a great quality!
10) Not parenting like other parents.
It can be easy to look at other parents and see how they parent and feel guilty for not doing that with your child. I mean their child was potty trained and in a toddler bed before 2! Yours is in a crib and diapers at 2 1/2. Every child is different, every parent is different, and every family and situation is different. Yours is totally acceptable for you as other families is acceptable for them. Don't compare yourself. You are doing a great job mama just the way you are!
Don't feel guilty mama! Give yourself some slack. You are not perfect nor does anyone expect you to be!
(Pictures from google.com)
Until next time,
