Mommy's Confidential : October 2014

Do you have that cheer going through your head right now like I do after reading that title? No, okay. Maybe it is just me or my many years of cheering. I thought it was a clever title!

This week's post will be able the dreaded pump!! Some people have never experienced this glorious device and some of us have experienced it quite often! I get lots of questions on which ones are the best, how do you efficiently do it, etc.

1. Which pump is the best?
I personally prefer Medela pumps. However, I have only tried Medela and Ameda so I don't have a very large basis. I also like the Ameda, I just prefer the Medela because the suction is stronger and it takes less time when you have a stronger suction. According to Baby Center, the Medela "Pump in Style" (which is the one I have), "Freestyle", "Swing", and "Symphony", and Phillips Avent Comfort Manual pump is the best. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have a manual pump, ever! Here are some pumps that The Bump suggest:
Best Pump for Working Moms: Medela Pump In Style
Most Affordable Pump: Lansinoh Affinity Pump
Most Convenient Pump: Philips Avent Comfort Pump
Most Comfortable Pump: Dr. Brown's Double Electric Pump
Best Manual Pump: Harmony Breast Pump by Medela
Best Hospital Grade Pump: Ameda Elite
Most Portable Pump: Freemie Freedom
Apparently you can just slide the cups under your bra and still pump with your bra and shirt on with the Freemie! Sounds a little harder than it is worth to me, but who knows!?

2. How often should I pump if I pump exclusively?
If you are pumping exclusively, you need to pump every 2-3 hours when your baby is first born. You should do this for the first few weeks-months. This includes night time!! You usually make the most milk between 1:00 - 5:00 a.m. So these are important! Once your baby starts moving to feeding every 3-4 hours, you can just pump when your baby eats and then feed your baby that milk in a bottle.

3. When should I pump if I am also nursing?
If you are wanting to get some extra milk to save, then pump after feedings. Whatever is left you can store. You can safely store it at room temperature for 3 hours, in a refrigerator for 3 days, in a freezer for 3 months, and in a deep freezer for about 6 months. You can also replace a nursing feed with a bottle of your pumped breast milk. Just pump about 15 minutes before feeding time.

4. How long do I need to pump for?
You should pump for about 15-20 minutes. Even if you are pumping and you think you are done, you can turn the power up a little and induce another "let down". This can help you produce more milk.

5. Does pumping increase my supply?
Yes it can. If you want it to help increase your supply, pump after every feeding for about 10 minutes. This will cause your body to think you need more milk and thus produce more milk.

6. How do I pump and work?
This one can be tricky. First talk to your boss and let them know your situation. This can be awkward but it needs to happen. Then figure out your child's schedule while you are at work. Try to pump at the same time they eat if you can. This will keep you on the same schedule and reduce pumping and bottles at home. When you pump at work, store your milk in a refrigerator or freezer and keep it for feedings for the next day or the future.

Hope this answered some pumping questions! Please feel free to ask any that I did not answer!

Until next time,

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day, I asked my friend Julie Brawner to do a guest post. I met Julie at Deer Creek Camp in 2005. I was a camp counselor and she was the counselor girls leader. I'm not sure if Julie knows how big of an impact she has made in my life! She is such a strong woman of God. She's pretty great to hang out with too! I still ask her for advice and she's always there if I just need someone to talk to. She has willing shared her story and I am honored that she was willing to be a guest writer on my blog. Thank you Julie and love you!

She has also written a book about their journey. It is definitely a must read! The trailer is at the bottom. Check it out!

Hello. My name is Julie Brawner. And I have experienced loss.

So often I feel like I should be sitting around a circle and when it's my turn, take that turn and become a part of the group of us. The AL's. Those who are Anonymous Loss's.

My husband and I met in college at Texas A&M University, whoop! We both loved Jesus very much and devoted our lives to honoring Him. We told Him that when He said go? We would go. When He said wait? We would wait. When He said "Step out on the water..." and other's said it can't be done, we'd lift our eyes to Him and we would come.

Little did we know our life would be a journey that asked us to give up life.

Our precious firstborn, Adia Michele, came in 2009. We were pregnant with our second baby girl in 2011. We were so excited, had her room all set up and her name sign over her crib. Piper Kay was about to be born and come home! My husband was out on scouting (he's a coach) and I went with a friend to my very last doctors appointment...the one where they tell you, "You're dilated to a 5! Let's go!" or "Let's induce!" Excitingly, I went to the appointment. As they searched for the heartbeat with that silly little machine, they asked for another because the battery seemed to not be working. The second one still didn't work so, they decided to send me quickly to do an ultrasound. I knew...just KNEW...she was ready to come! They'd put me in the hospital to be induced!!!

Yes. They would. "You've lost your baby."

What? What? No. This doesn't happen. There is NO way. She is FULL TERM. This DOES NOT happen. She is alive. I was here less than a week ago and her heart was beating fine! NO! NO! NOOOO!

In a daze and full of tears and sorrow, I left to call my husband. "We've lost Piper."

His reaction being the same and on the phone both of us not understanding, "Is this real? What do you mean? She's gone?!?!" "Yes, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone."

The next morning we went into the hospital to be induced. By 11 a.m., we were holding a precious, beautiful baby girl named Piper Kay, 6 lbs 12 oz with the most precious fingers and toes, the most beautiful mouth, and a perfectly formed body. As we held her and loved her and hugged her and sang to her, we knew we had entered a new part of life. A life of loss.

Piper Kay was born on July 27th, 2011. We have still not recovered. We never will recover. We will always be broken and have a scar from this cut that is so deep. But God walked day by day with us through those hardest of times. He sat with us, He held us, He loved us, and He carried us.

Other people played a huge roll in our existence in those hard times. There are days where we did not know if we could get out of bed to take a step, to breathe a breath, to blink an eye. For our first born, Adia, we knew we had to. But without the gracious prayers and the constant love poured out on us by friends and family, we would not have made it.

HOW can you help those who have lost? Don't shy away. Love them by asking the hardest most uncomfortable questions. Try to remember the day of the month they lost and send a text or email or note on that day, every month, and then every year...acknowledging that you haven't forgotten and you remember with them. Don't tell them you understand or that everything will be okay. Rather admit you don't have the words, cry with them, tell them loss sucks, and tell them you're sorry. Loss is loss. It SUCKS. It always will. I had a friend who set an alarm every night at the same time and would send me a Bible verse every night for the entire first year after we lost Piper. We had people from all over the community bring food and help out with meals, which helped tremendously due to the haze we lived in for a while. We had people send checks which helped cover the cost of funeral expenses and such. And then, the brave souls who ventured to sit and visit with us and hug us face to face. It must have been the hardest thing for them to drive, knock on the door, and enter into our home. But they did. And their bravery meant the world. We even had friends purchase a tree to be planted in a local park in honor of Piper, a park we took Adia to all the time to swing and laugh and tree-hug.

So often after a loss, people tend to stay away. It makes us who have lost feel like we have the plague, alienated by the world. I never blamed those around me for that. I knew it hurt too bad and that people didn't know what to say. But it is so comforting when people make the step out of their comfort zone to extend love in time of need. No matter if you've lost a child through a miscarriage, a stillborn, an abortion, a death after birth...whether you've lost a friend, a sibling, a mother, a father, a grandparent. Loss is loss. It cuts deep and wounds forever. There remains a scar until we one day enter those pearly gates and walk those streets of gold in our new bodies.

For those of us who HAVE lost? Challenge yourself to open that chapter of your life and allow others in. Tell them your story, share with them your hurt, and cast your burdens out there. Our Father has given us a family in Him that is not earthly, but Heavenly. The believers that surround you are there to share your burdens, to cry with you, to laugh with you, and to remember with you. Let them. Open up and let them in. If you have kept your hurt in all these years, it is a festering wound that can not heal into a scar. It will never fully heal--ever. You will always be marked with loss. The scar of loss remains, but if you have not allowed others in to remember that life with you? Now is the time. Today is the day.

If you have never lost, remember that every day, people are walking by you with a smile and when you ask them how they're doing, they say, "Fine!" Little do you know that in the depths of so many people's souls, there is an aching loss that is invisible to the common eye. We try to hide it and pretend like everything is okay. We try to be like those we see, those who don't walk around with the ringing of loss in their ears or the instantaneous flood of tears that hits when small remembrances pass by. We try to blend in and be normal, but we can't...because this is our new norm.

But wait. Wait. As I peer closer into your eyes, you who seem so normal...sweet friend? I have not taken the time to ask you, but I see it on your face--do you have a scar too?

Hello. My name is Julie Brawner. And I have experienced loss. Want to share scars?

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Watch the trailer for When God Called Piper Home, by Julie Brawner at http://youtu.be/wNx4BpZpC8Q