"Crying It Out"

Many parents have heard of the "cry it out" method. It is the method where you let your baby cry it out when you put them to bed or if they wake up in the middle of the night to put themselves back to sleep. It is to teach them to self soothe. Here's what we experienced with it and how it worked for us.

When Brody got to about 4 months of age, we started thinking about bed times and nap times. Up until this point I had held him to put him to sleep. And I held him a lot! I loved it and cherished it. However, we did not want him to become a baby, toddler, child who had to be rocked or have someone with him when he went to sleep. We wanted him to be able to put himself to sleep if we needed or wanted him to. So, we researched and asked around. We were told many times to try the "cry it out" method. Our pediatrician even recommended it. So, at about 6 months of age we decided to try it. We did not try it earlier because we felt like he was just a little too young for it before that. Ask your pediatrician what age they suggest you try this if you are going to.

I remember we decided to try it the first time on a Friday night. We wanted to have the weekend if it went awful. We put him down at bedtime with no swaddling, no blankets, no rocking, and just his paci.  He did not like it at all! He screamed the second we left the room. Let me tell you now, this is not for the weenies! It was so hard listening to him cry! I kept asking Aaron, "Do you think I should just go get him?" He would say no, it's only been a minute, he will be fine. After about 30 minutes straight of screaming, he began to calm down. We had to turn the television up because it became hard for both of us to hear him crying. However, we knew we had to in order for this to work. He began just having a few seconds of screaming at a time and would quit. Then, after about 1 hour, he had put himself to sleep. He slept the whole night.

Night two went a little better. He still screamed, but within about 30 minutes he had put himself to sleep. We dealt with the screaming before he would go to sleep for about 1 week. After a week, he had learned it was not so bad and he would put himself to sleep. After that, we had a little boy who could now go to sleep on his own.

We also applied this to middle of the night and nap time. If he woke up crying in the middle of the night, I would check him and make sure everything was okay. I made sure he was full, dry, and no fever. If everything was okay, I would leave and let him put himself back to sleep. Again, this was NOT easy. It is very hard hearing your baby cry knowing they will stop if you just pick them up. If you know everything is okay, I suggest turning the monitor off for a little while until they go back to sleep. Either set an alarm for a little while and turn it back on when the alarm goes off, or just wait a little while and check to see if he is calm and turn it back on. They will be okay! It is hard, but worth it!

When Brody got older and got used to putting himself back to sleep, I stopped going in right when he would cry. He would see me and it would make it worse. So, my rule was if he cried more than 15 or 20 minutes I would go in to check on him. I did this because usually if he just was upset about waking up and crying, he would put himself back to sleep within 15-20 minutes. If he cried longer than that, I knew something was probably wrong. I can also tell the difference between a "something is wrong" cry and a "I want to be held" cry.

After many nights of hearing cries and letting him cry it out at bed time and in the middle of the night, we now have a little boy who we can lay down at nap time or bed time and he puts himself to sleep. He also stays quiet in the morning until we come and get him. He knows that we decide when he gets out of bed. He does not decide this. It is not because of his personality, it is because we taught him how.

Now, do I still get up and hold him sometimes when he just wants to be held? Of course. Do I still rock him to sleep sometimes? Of course. In fact, I rock him about 10 minutes every night. If he falls asleep, great. If not, great. But I am enjoying his age and the ability to be able to rock him. I did not start doing this until I knew he would not cry if I laid him down awake. It is good for you and your baby for them to be able to put themselves to sleep. It also helps when they are older and they are in daycare or kindergarten taking naps.

So, do I think "crying it out" works? Yes, I do. But, you do have to be consistent and you have to actually let them cry! It is not easy but it does work and I think it is a good method to use. Will your baby have it down in a week like mine? I don't know. Maybe, but maybe not. We still had to work on it for a while after that initial week to get where we are now. As long as you are consistent, I think it will work! Good luck!

Until next time!