Marriage and Little Ones

Maintaining a healthy marriage and little ones, or any kids, for that matter can by trickey. Many times our children take over our lives. That is not necessarily a bad thing, unless we put them above everything else!

That is a crazy last sentence right?! Don't put your kids above everything else. Please keep reading!
Many times, especially new parents, tend to have a baby and that baby becomes the center of everything they do. Which, is not bad, especially at first. This whole baby thing is a hard thing to adjust to! You go from doing anything you want anytime you want to do it, sleeping all night with no interruptions, minimal doctor appointments for most, and using your money on whatever you want to doing hardly any of that! Your money now has to be spent on things like baby clothes, baby supplies, diapers, child care for some, finding babysitters and time to go out, up multiple times a night for months on end, many doctors appointment, and their well being at the forefront of your mind. Your life totally changes, yet in a good way!

After you get the whole parenting thing somewhat down, it is important to take time away from your kids. It is important to nurture your marriage. Don't forget about your spouse! After all, you were married before you had children. You have a partner in crime to do life with and you need that relationship strong. You need to be able to look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking because your kid is screaming so loud that you cannot hear each other talk. You need to be able to play tag team and help the other out when they are tired and cannot go on anymore. You need to be able to endure the days your spouse is short with you and just plain grumpy because they are tired from endless nights of little sleep and long days at work or with kids.

You see, if you don't nuture your marriage, these things can crumble your marriage to a million pieces. You will no longer view your spouse as your rock and your helper but just someone who doesn't have a clue on how to do anything right with your children. You will see your spouse as selfish and rude when they have bad days instead of offering grace and taking over for them. You will see them as an inadequate spouse and parent because you have only nutured your relationship with your children. Your children will notice too. Their home will not be a happy safe place, but a place of discord.

Don't schedule your life around your child. Let them learn to be flexible. Even at an early age! Believe it or not, it equips them for the future to be flexible! Yes even when they are little! If you run your life around your child, they will grow up to be entitled. They will think that everything revolves around them and should be done according to their wants and needs. After all, it has been that way their entire life. They will not be able to witness what a healthy marriage looks like in good times and in bad. It is okay for them to learn some life lessons and to not have everything their way every time they want it to. They may be upset, but they will be okay. After all, not everything life goes how we want it to. Teach them how to deal with things when they don't go their way. They need to know!

Please don't read something I am not writing. Yes, you need to take your children's needs into account and supply those needs. You need to think about their health and happiness and make sure that those are taken care of. You need to make sure that they are safe and loved. You need to support them and uplift them and look out for their best interest. You need to fight for them and stand up for them when no one else won't. But, you can do all these things without revolving the entire universe around them.

Some important things to do:
1) Still kiss your husband or wife when you get home.
2) Hug them and let them know how happy you are to see them.
3) Talk to them about your day and things other than your children.
4) Go on date nights at least once a month.
5) Do little things for each other.
6) Don't forget what makes the other one happy and do that for them.
7) Pray for your marriage.
8) Pray for your children.
9) Set time apart for time with children and that is their time only!!!
10) Set time apart for you and your spouse and that is yall's time! (After bed works best for those with small children.)
11) Pray with your spouse.
12) KEEP GOD FIRST

Believe me, these simple things will create a healthier marriage, well rounded children, and a loving, healthy home. Most importantly, keep God the center of your marriage and your household. If you let Him direct each and every relationship in your home, it will make all relationships flourish.


Until next time,